emojojo
well.. today is quite a bad day.. i sold my 8800gt and somehow it sparked a self-pity internal spat.. firstly, it sux bcoz once it starts, its very hard to stop. secondly, there is no real way to stop it or feel good after tt bcoz the fact is there are parts of my life tt suck more than the rest and it will always come right back to my face..
it's really sad but true. for my entire life so far, i am stuck at the low-end of stuffs. from graphics card to handphone to clothes.. i just realised in my entire life, i have never bought a handphone that i actually wanted.. in my entire life, i have never bought a first hand mp3 player that i wanted.. once i hit secondary school, i have never asked my parents to buy a single luxury item.. from handphone to computer to clothes to mp3 player to speakers to earphones to books, i bought every single item myself..
ok.. after rabbling so much.. my point is, when i see ppl arnd me.. driving their parents cars, managing to persuade their parents to buy that iphone for them.. or simply buying a new wardrobe for them.. it makes me envious.. its hard to hide it but so far i always manage to do so.. but there will be occasional periods of weakness like today..
i duno y but i guess im gonne be stuck to the low end of things for another few years.. sometimes i yearn to be just in an average family.. spare me from all this troubles.. y is it that the problems i face are so diff from other 21 yr olds.. they worry abt whether they can go overseas uni, they worry if their pocket money will be enuff to let them eat fast food everyday, they worry if their parents will upgrade their com for them.. and yet here i am, slapped with problems that even adults cant solve.. but then again, its not tt my parents dun try.. one of them is trying very hard.. so hard that it makes me worry.. but sometimes, its just beyond them.. aye..
ok, it definitely feels much better now.. now all i hafta do.. is to suck everything up.. suck it all up like i always do.. treat like i am perfectly fine.. and try to tink that if i work hard, tings will change eventually.. well, it can never change fast enuff..
it's really sad but true. for my entire life so far, i am stuck at the low-end of stuffs. from graphics card to handphone to clothes.. i just realised in my entire life, i have never bought a handphone that i actually wanted.. in my entire life, i have never bought a first hand mp3 player that i wanted.. once i hit secondary school, i have never asked my parents to buy a single luxury item.. from handphone to computer to clothes to mp3 player to speakers to earphones to books, i bought every single item myself..
ok.. after rabbling so much.. my point is, when i see ppl arnd me.. driving their parents cars, managing to persuade their parents to buy that iphone for them.. or simply buying a new wardrobe for them.. it makes me envious.. its hard to hide it but so far i always manage to do so.. but there will be occasional periods of weakness like today..
i duno y but i guess im gonne be stuck to the low end of things for another few years.. sometimes i yearn to be just in an average family.. spare me from all this troubles.. y is it that the problems i face are so diff from other 21 yr olds.. they worry abt whether they can go overseas uni, they worry if their pocket money will be enuff to let them eat fast food everyday, they worry if their parents will upgrade their com for them.. and yet here i am, slapped with problems that even adults cant solve.. but then again, its not tt my parents dun try.. one of them is trying very hard.. so hard that it makes me worry.. but sometimes, its just beyond them.. aye..
ok, it definitely feels much better now.. now all i hafta do.. is to suck everything up.. suck it all up like i always do.. treat like i am perfectly fine.. and try to tink that if i work hard, tings will change eventually.. well, it can never change fast enuff..
posted by j0s3pH at
1:49 AM
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