late night

ok! im typing the first post on this keyboard! quite quiet leh, means can type as hard as i can and i won wake my whole family up..

well they say that as we get deeper into the night, we tend to tink more.. it seems the darkness and silence of the night brings up the deepest thoughts buried in the depths of one's mind.. hard to dispute that.. everytime it gets late, i juz kip pondering about my life.. have u ever wondered what it would be like if u have mayb made a different decision at some point of ur life.. everyting cld be different now.. and sometimes, dun u juz feel lyk giving up something that is so precious and important but juz cant see to let go.. it sux when u tink about what the future have in hold for us and all we can tink abt r predictions.. predictions that most probably will be far off from what is gonna happen.. and sometimes, u have this gut feeling that something had actually happened and that tiny weeny bit of hope u held was dashed.. and yet u cannot openly discuss about it.. all i can do is get pissed and type vague stuffs here.. i hate it when i get all emo.. y cant i be lyk those ppl who dun tink so much.. juz 4get what happen and cast every thots aside..

and with all the decision making.. i noe propaganda is a way to sell urself.. cant really fault them but the universities' incessant focus on their own good point really irritates mi.. every1 is owaz askin about how one can stand out.. how one will be the right choice bla bla bla.. i have nv seen one university or education faculty that dare to stand up and admit to us their short comings and prove to us that there r areas of improvement that they will see into.. if tt one college or school ever appear, i'm so gonna enrol for it.. they say confidence is important but i tink being self-conscious is juz as impt.. i dun see how incessant self-appraisal is a way to attract ppl.. owell, complaining is really all i can do.. bcoz at the end of the day, i will end up tryin to sell myself to future employers etc.. alamak, i juz hate such a result driven life.. and all i can do is to follow the flow..